If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.

- George Washington

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Joke in Questionable Taste

George is a widower and has decided he doesn't like living alone, so he finally moves into an old people's home. After a few days, he meets Alice, a lady of a similar age to himself, and they seem to get along well. On sunny days, they go into the secluded garden of the home and sit together, reminiscing about the good old days and talking about the grandchildren. This goes on for several weeks, and their relationship semed to be blossoming.

One day, George said to Alice, "I know this seems a funny thing to ask, but I have been missing my late wife's company terribly. I just miss the daily contact, and the hugs and cuddles more than anything. Could ask you a favour?"

"Go ahead and ask," she says. "We're good friends now. You can ask me anything."

"Well, would you mind putting your hand inside my trousers and just - er - holding it for a while?"

"Well, that's a bit of a strange request, but I have been married myself and I understand. If it would make you happy, George, of course I will."

So she discreetly unzips his trousers and slips her hand inside and holds his manhood. George smiles a blissful smile and closes his eyes. After a while, the sun goes in and they have to go back inside. A nurse approaches, she slips her hand out, and they return to the building and their separate rooms.

Alice really didn't mind doing this and, when George asked her the same request a few days later, she agreed readily. It seemed to give him so much pleasure, and she was glad she was able to bring some happiness to her new-found friend. Indeed, she was beginning to have some feelings for the old boy, and started to look forward to their meetings. As summer passed by, they were to be seen almost every day in the garden, their backs to the house, close together, just enjoying each other's company. What no-one else knew was that Alice's hand was inside George's underwear, gently holding his manhood. After a while, Alice even started to wonder if there was more to it than friendship, and that perhaps George might one day propose to her.

One day, she went out to their usual seat, but there was no sign of George. She sat on her own for a while, and then returned to her room, wondering what had happened to him. She didn't hear from him or see him for almost a week. Eventually, she decided to track him down and see what was going on. She checked his room, but he wasn't there. She went out into the garden, checked the usual seat, and then, puzzled, went off to explore the rest of the grounds.

A few minutes later, she turned a corner and saw George sitting on a seat in the remotest corner of the grounds. Next to him was another woman, slightly younger then Alice, sitting very close to George - suspiciously close, in Alice's eyes. She decided not to confront them, but went back to her room and sat for a long time in the gathering gloom, wondering what had gone wrong, or whether she had perhaps misunderstood George's intentions and the nature of their relationship. To be honest, she also felt a bit of good old-fashioned jealousy, an emotion she had not felt for many years.

After a few days of emotional turmoil, she decided to find George and have it out with him. She went to his room at a time she knew he would be there, knocked and entered. He was sitting by the window, reading the newspaper.

"George, I have to ask you - are you seeing someone else? Do you have feelings for that woman you have been sitting with?"

"Well, yes," said George, "Gladys and I are becoming very good friends."

"Does she do that thing for you that I do?"

"Yes, she does, and I have to say she does it very well," said George.

"George, I have to tell you that I am bitterly disappointed in you. I thought we had feelings for each other. I thought I could make you happy. What has she got that I haven't?"

"Parkinson's."

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